Poor mom, trapped in a Mexican spa, getting pampered and chowing down on green slime. . .oh wait, what’s that? Chocolate you say?
I have no sympathy.
Also, I’m leaving these in the exact formatting that I get them. One HUGE paragraph. It’s mom’s train of thought, or influenced by several margaritas at dinner to wash down the bad spa food.
Subject: Latest update from Mexico
Day four Margo and I abandoned the Spa dining room. Besides the fact that we could not tolerate one more glass of the green slime they had us drink in the morning or one more slice of the disgusting brown grain bread that we had to eat at breakfast, lunch and dinner that was pretty stale by day four this is what happened to get us the hell out of there. There are these poor little cats living around the hotel begging for food. We felt so sorry for them that we wrapped up the food that we weren’t eating and after dinner on the third and fourth night tried to feed it to them. Well, when even the starving cats wouldn’t eat the spa food I decided that was it!!! They turned up their little pink noses and walked away. So,they would rather starve than eat that food!!! Since then we have been eating in the perfectly lovely dining room in the hotel where the food actually tastes good and no one forces us to drink digusting stuff or eat stale brown yucky bread. OK, so maybe we won’t lose as much weight as the other women who are looking at us like we are Benedict Arnold and some won’t even talk to us, but they didn’t get to have chocolate mousse for dessert so ha, ha. The cats have more discerning taste than they do and I am more inclined to trust the cats.Last night was the funniest, Margo and I were enjoying a perfectly lovely dinner in the regular dining room when a group of about 10 women came in from the spa dining room, sat down and ordered two of every dessert on the menu which they devoured in a matter of seconds. Then, they called the waiter over and said WE NEED CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!!! He said, We have no chocolate desserts on the menu tonight. They said, Por favor, WE NEED CHOCOLATE!!!!!!! Three waiters went back in the kitchen and damn if they didn’t find them chocolate cake, chocolate mousse, chocolate pudding, chocolate candy, chocolate,chocolate,chocolate. They ate it all! They must have eaten their combined weight in desserts!! Margo and I were just hysterical with laughter. It was some sight!!We also found out there is another spa on the premises a really nice one. I went there yesterday and had a hot stone massage. It was wonderful, relaxing and no beating!!!!!!!! I wish I had known about it sooner I could have saved myself so many bruises. We come home tomorrow. I think I am ready. Of course, I was ready day 2 so don’t go by me. The women who have been eating the spa food all week are all snapping at one another so I think they are ready. But then there is my sister, Margo, who is already talking about coming back next year. I think they put a pod in our room and took my real sister away. Is she crazy? Yes, it’s beautiful here, the food in the regular dining room is good, but now I know how Kobe beef feels before they slaughter it . I have been massaged and tenderized too much and the way some of these women look at me I am afraid I may end up on tomorrow’s menu. -Pam