As I’ve been planning this wedding, I find myself a little bit addicted to wedding boards and blogs. Almost all of them use this “secret wedding language” that’s actually pretty confusing because they use all of these abbreviations that mean something completely different to people in the “real world.” Some of them are funny, some of them pretty smart, and some are downright gross.
A few examples:
Real world meaning: Sexually Transmitted Disease
Wedding world meaning: Save The Date!
I know, I’m a five year old, but this one makes me chuckle. Nothing will top seeing my mother’s e-mails titled “We need to pick an STD” or “Which STD do you like better?”
Real world: Bowel Movement
Wedding world: Bridesmaid!
This one is horrible, and I refuse to use it. Bridesmaids get a really bad rap. I’d say 1/4 of the posts on I see on wedding boards are about some “selfish” bridesmaid who committed som atrocity, like, not caring if the dresses are blue or green.
Bridesmaids are there as a favor to the bride, they spend a lot of money and time on her wedding, they shouldn’t be treated like Bowel Movement. I’m extremely thankful for my bridesmaids, but I realize that all of them have a life outside of my wedding. I hope they’ll be excited to celebrate with me, bachelorette with me, and make a cheesy bow bouquet with me at my shower, but I don’t expect their lives to stop for the next 8 months.
Real world: Gangsters, steer clear, you might end up on the bottom of a river encased in cement shoes if you cross them.
Wedding World: Mother of Bride! (you still might end up on the bottom of a river encased in cement shoes if you cross them)
I think this one is awesome. My mom can kick butt and take names (I’ve seen her do it, really). Very appropriate.
Real World: Department of Corrections
Wedding World: Day-of Coordinator
I have an actual wedding planner, and she’s like, the right arm for the MOB. She makes things happen, she kick-asses that need to be kicked. Most of all, she keeps me and my mom sane as we plan for the next 8 months.